[Channel Open]
[Incoming Transmission from Psi Phi, Office of Communications]

Minutes

(02/21/2001)

Call To Order: 10:02(guariba)(yeeeipong)(now)pm

Attendance:

• Joel Oberdieck (Captain)
• Julie Faas (First Officer)
• David Henderson (Chief of Operations)
• Meg Callender (Grand Nagus)
• Kenny Albright (Communications Officer)
• Marisa Bonomo
• Chris Johnson
• Chris Kaergard
• Katie Kilby
• Ray Kremer
• Amy Lewis
• Carl Murphy
• Aaron Nevitt
• C. Adam Scott

Minutes: Summarized and approved.

• Meg's dog's butt is discussed. (-ting)
• Carl remembered to bring the Red Dwarf tape! Hooray!
• Meg writes down an amusing and controversial quote from The Onion on the whiteboard.
• Ray amends the last part to read, "Frell this!"
• Ray quotes the obvious.
• Carl mumbles with food in his mouth; he then burps Adam.
• Chris J. suggests we sneak a book of the Psi Phi minutes into the library and see if anyone notices.
• It is determined via experiment that Carl is more effective than Joel is in silencing an unruly mob.

Committee Reports:

• We got information regarding alumnus Jay Johnson.
• The club tries and fails to derecruit Marisa.
• The Comm Officer reports an e-mail contact from someone who came across one of our minutes on the web and was highly amused with us.
• The edited text of the message is hereby inserted into the minutes, and proceeds as follows:
  • "hi there, i was just 'surfing the net' when i ran across your site. the link i got form [sic] the search engine was for one of your minutes and thought it was hilarious. at first, i thought 'what kind of fraternity is this?' that was until i actually said 'psi phi' out loud and realized that you guys are so [item deleted and another item substituted for security reasons] frelling cool.
  • "if i went to your school, i would totally join your club and eat popcorn and watch mystery science theatre with you guys! you guys rock my socks off! woohoo, amy"
• Needless to say, the prospect of being mistaken for a fraternity again immediately sends the club into hysterical laughter. The memo is appreciated by one and all.
• The Captain proposes the e-mail be added as an amendment to our constitution.

• Adam regrets to inform us that he has no report to give to his Psi Phi club.
• Adam then shoots everybody but David and himself with the phaser. This is why Adam doesn't get guns.
• Ray remarks, "They blew up Congress! Hahaha!"
• Carl calls for SILENCE! The Comm Officer remarks, "Well, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition," provoking the desired result. The Captain promptly shoots himself.

Officers' Reports:

• The Comm Officer reads a list provided by Chris of movies viewed in the Science Fiction seminar this week. They include Rocketship, the first sound version of Dracula, a silent-era stinker called Metropolis, and The War of the Worlds.
• Regarding the last film, the Comm Officer demands to know how the cars worked if all electrical or motorized appliances were stalled by the aliens. Nobody knows...or seems to care.
• Amy mentions gerbils.
• Carl has an original copy of the film Invasion of the Body Snatchers, available upon request.
• At Amy's request, the official slogan of B-CON 2001 is hereby inserted into the minutes: "No I am not going to let you swim walls on a bird!"
• Marisa remarks that she seemed to be the only one actually watching anime at B-CON.
• Again Carl is rendered more effective than the Captain in silencing others.
• Recently, Late Night with Conan O'Brien has had George Takei doing guest spots called "Takei: Secrets", where he relays false but funny information about his acting career.
• David proceeds to do a truly excellent rendition of the latest blurbs on "Takei: Secrets", including a statement about the "sweet, delicious burritos" they served on the Star Trek set on Thursdays.
• Applause is given for David's grand performance.
• The Captain hits the Comm Officer.

• The current balance is... well, the Nagus forgot to check, but it's the same as last week. ($308.87)
• The Chief adds $75 to the treasury, the rest of the money from amazon.com, making the new balance $383.87.
• More applause. David good.
• Ray comments on David's similarity to the Pakleds, in that he looks for things to make us go.
• The Captain hits the Comm Officer again.

• No report. Wait...yes, there is.
• The second annual Trivia Contest is coming soon to the website! Woo-hoo!

• The First Officer has decided to institute the Douglas Adams Quote of the Week. This week's quote is from "So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish":
  • "I thought you must be dead..." he said simply.
  • "So did I for a while," said Ford, "and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic."
  • Arthur cleared his throat, and then did it again. "Where," he said, "did you...?"
  • "Find a gin and tonic?" said Ford brightly. "I found a small lake that thought it was a gin and tonic, and jumped in and out of that. At least, I think it thought it was a gin and tonic.
  • "I may," he added with a grin that would have sent sane men scampering into trees, "have been imagining it."
• The quote was supplied for the minutes by Amy, since the Comm Officer didn't get a word of it.

• Ray sings the "Letters" song, since we have mail.
• Mail:
  • A thing where we can get money. This has no use for us, as we have David, who brings us money.
  • A flyer for the Brother to Brother rap session, the sequel to last week's female rap session.
  • The motion is made to trick the two rap sessions into having a deathmatch. Seems logical...
  • Something regarding a time-change. Don't worry; it only looks relevant.
  • An application for the Dr. Martin Luther King Leadership award
  • Joel is not a leader, so he's out. The club debates whether or not to nominate Adam.
  • Apparently, the club lacks the inertial resolve to come to a decision. Big surprise.

Old Business:

• Amendment proceedings are underway.
• The draft of Amendment I, as amended and approved by the Senior Officers, 5-0, is as follows:
  • AMENDMENT I
  • Section 1: New Officer
    • 1. The office of "Constable" is hereby created.
    • 2. The Constable shall be given Senior Officer status.
    • 3. The Chain of Command and succession of officers is amended as follows: Captain, First Officer, Grand Nagus, Chief of Operations, Constable, Communications Officer.
    • 4. All sections of the Constitution and Bylaws requiring a "four-fifths" majority approval by the Senior Officers with regard to the passing of a motion, bylaw, amendment, or other procedure are hereby amended to require a "two-thirds" majority approval (four of six officers).
  • Section 2: Election of Constable
    • 1. The first Constable shall be elected during the session in which this Amendment is ratified, immediately following ratification, according to procedures stated in Article IV of the Constitution. The winning candidate shall assume the office immediately upon election.
    • 2. Future Constables shall be elected before the last meeting of the semester preceding their term, as provided for in Article IV.
  • Section 3: Powers of Constable
    • 1. The following are powers delegated to the Constable:
    • a. The Constable shall have the authority to remove overly disruptive members from a meeting, whenever necessary and appropriate, with a simple majority approval of present members.
    • b. The Constable shall have the authority to remove disruptive members from a TV/movie viewing, whenever necessary and appropriate, with a simple majority approval of present members, for such disruptions delineated in Section 1, Article 1 of the Bylaws.
    • c. The Constable shall have the authority to relieve the Captain or Commanding Officer of duty, whenever appropriate and with a five-sixths majority approval of the Senior Officers.
  • Section 4: Duties of Constable
    • 1. The following are duties entrusted to the Constable:
    • a. An "armory" shall be created to hold futuristic, sci-fi related weapons (ones allowed on Bradley's campus) that the club obtains, such as lasers and phasers. The Constable shall maintain the armory and all weapons therein contained, and issue equipment to authorized members.
    • b. The Constable shall assist the Captain or Commanding Officer in procuring and securing meeting rooms or TV rooms, whenever necessary and appropriate.
    • c. The Constable shall be required to sing the "Letters" song from The Late Show with David Letterman immediately preceding the Captain's report on the status of incoming mail. (The "Letters" song is sung as follows (with apologies to Worldwide Pants or whoever has the copyright; please don't sue us): "Letters, we get letters; we get sacks and sacks of letters. Letters!")
    • d. The Constable shall act as the official enforcer of the Captain's orders, using an official Psi Phi "bapper," a broken foam bat in the office wrapped in a copy of this Constitution, with which to bap people.
    • e. The Constable shall assist the Grand Nagus in guarding the Treasury whenever necessary and appropriate.
    • f. The Constable shall present a report regarding security matters at each meeting during the Officers' Reports.
  • "My own very adequate memory not being good enough for Starfleet, I am pleased to put my voice to this official record of this day. Everything's under control. End log." - Odo, "Necessary Evil"
• The Nagus says she may have to show Ray (the intended and obvious candidate for Constable) where she keeps the treasury, in her underwear drawer. Ray remarks, "This job keeps getting better and better!"

Scifi News:

• The Lone Gunman starts March 4th on FOX, but with a skewed schedule. Episode 1 will be on 3/4, 2 on 3/11, 3 on 3/16, 4 on 3/18, and 5 on 3/23. It's some procession of Fridays and Sundays.
• Aaron arrives at 10:52, and is applauded.
• The Sci Fi Channel will be discontinuing their Monday Prime, and shuffling shows around accordingly. Friday Prime will be reorganized in mid-March to begin at 7, showing Invisible Man, then Farscape, then Outer Limits, then repeat the shows at 10. Saturday Prime will start at 8 and will run First Wave, then Secret Adventures of Jules Verne, then Black Scorpion.
• The Farscape season premiere will air March 16th, with a special preceding it at 7 pm on the Sci Fi Channel.
• Lexx is being booted back to 2 am Sunday night/Monday morning. Only Kenny and Ray seem to care.
• Crusade episodes will begin showing on the Sci Fi Channel in April at 7 pm, after B5. The quote on whether new episodes are seen in the works is as follows: "Not at this time."
• Two new DS9 profiles have been posted on the website: Jake Sisko and a Jem'Hadar.
• David has received book covers for the new Section 31 series. The full versions are deemed very cool by all.
• David also has comics: "Rising Stars" #13 by JMS, "Midnight Nation" #5, also by JMS, and TOS "Enter the Wolves", dealing with Spock, Sarek, and Perrin. It involves negotiations with the Cardassians and also features the wedding of Sarek and Perrin.
• One final B-CON note: Adam's game, hereby known as "Adam's Game," much to Adam's chagrin, was successful at B-CON last weekend, despite Charlie's presence.

Adjournment:11:00 (now)(immediately)(penguin)pm