[Channel Open]
[Incoming Transmission from Psi Phi, Office of Communications]

Minutes

(03/28/2001)

Call To Order: 10:06 (now)(pi)pm

Attendance:

• Joel Oberdieck (Captain)
• Julie Faas (First Officer)
• David Henderson (Chief of Operations)
• Ray Kremer (Constable)
• Kenny Albright (Communications Officer)
• Marisa Bonomo
• Chris Johnson
• Chris Kaergard
• Katie Kilby
• Amy Lewis
• Carl Murphy
• Aaron Nevitt
• C. Adam Scott
• Charlie Truong

Minutes: Summarized and approved.

• We're meeting in Room 6 tonight, since it's available and our rightful homeland, but some members think we are in Room 5 and are rounded up accordingly.
• This gives rise to the idea of Psi Phi factions, such as the Room 6 "legitimate" faction versus the Room 5 "upstart" one.
• Another faction possibility divides the members into three groups: Silly, Not-Quite-So-Silly, and, well, Her (referring to Amy.)
• Carl arrives at 10:09. Charlie arrives stealthily at 10:10.
• The Comm Officer is bapped for too enthusiastically embracing the concept of "now."
• The time of adjournment for last week's meeting is hereby reiterated at the Captain's request:
• Adjournment: 10:52 (emsmalled)(australopithecus)(bloody Taco Bell dog splattered against the wall)pm

Committee Reports:

• No report.

• This week, Adam enlightens us with the tenets of Confucianism, including the belief that the world is sour, and that we should strive to return to the traditions of old.
• He then states, "I hate this philosphy. As a giant middle finger to its entire structure, I am going to break with tradition. I will not deliver a no report report; rather, I report that Confucianism is wrong."
• Adam stuns the club by his break with long-standing tradition. In the interests of maintaining the status quo, however, David offers up a "No report," and we all relax.

Officers' Reports:

• The Comm Officer brings two dolls of his from the old kids' show The Great Space Coaster. It is ruled that they were puppets, not Muppets. "Mirpets" is suggested and discarded, though it's still pretty funny.
• Gary Gnu and Goriddle Gorilla join Greedo on the dais to form our noble triumvirate.
• [Lack of item deleted for security reasons.]
• The Captain decries the further "stupidification" of the club.

• "Warning: Incoming game. Warning: Incoming game."
• Everything's under control.

• No report, since the Nagus is conspicuously absent. The Captain speculates that the Nagus is purchasing mass quantities of chocolate.

• The trivia contest is over. The winners should be announced on the website by Sunday.

• There will be a Red Dwarf movie! Production is slated to start on August 13, and the movie will be released in 2002.
• The movie should be done by the original British actors, which would be a good thing.
• Marisa wants to know what Red Dwarf is. [Answer: Tattoo meets Carrot Top!]
• Tonight's Douglas Adams Quote of the Week is from So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish:
• "This message has been brought to you by the campaign to save the humans."

• The Captain notes that the PLS 207 professor recently went on a rampaging tirade about how communalism is reminiscent of the Borg. Chris K. confirms a repeat performance next hour, proving this was not an isolated incident.
• Ray sings the Letters song, which means we have mail.
• Mail:
  • An ad for Monday's concert, received, as usual, too late to matter.
  • Earth Day propaganda
  • A flyer reminding us to put something about Psi Phi in next year's freshman orientation binder. David takes this, as he is chair of the Recruitment and Relations Committee.
  • Stuff for Student Volunteer Award. No.
  • A large packet o'applications, which has little relevance to us, except for the two forms that allow us to exist and to have an office for one more semester.

Old Business:

• By self-admission, Adam is still full of it.

Scifi News:

• New episodes are everywhere! X-Files begins April 1, Voyager has a new episode on April 11, Roswell has a new episode on April 16, and Buffy and Angel have new episodes on April 17.
• Also, the final Buffy for this year will be the 100th episode of the series, so they're bound to make it extra special.
• When Crusade begins its run on the Sci Fi Channel April 9, it will air in the JMS-approved "proper" order, and not the goofy, disjointed TNT one. Yay!
• The Captain refuses to think about the similarity of episodes to epicycles.
• A new B5 TV movie is in the works, to be aired on the Sci Fi Channel. It will be called "Legend of the Rangers", and will also serve as the pilot for a possible new series.
• Comic books now available and in David's possession include JMS's "Midnight Nation" #6, and Voyager's "Planet Killer" #3 of 3 (or 4, if you go by the cover of #1).
• A new book now available is Ultima: The Technocrat War, Book I of III: Machinations, by Austen Andrews.
• Apparently, Pocketbooks is bribing/rewarding David with free books.
• Some interesting info about Kasidy Yates in the new DS9 series of books is up on the website. Cool stuff happens to her in Avatar (which is the first book in the series).
• Also up is an excerpt from Avatar that deals with an amusingly tension-filled scene between Quark and Security Chief Ro.
• "Quark! Quark! Quark!" "Ro! Ro! Ro!"
• Adam assaults the Captain, and the Constable blasts him out of the stars. Adam protests that he was never in the stars to begin with. The Comm Officer exercises his Soviet revisionist powers and makes the following statement, for the record: "Adam was in the stars, and then he was blasted out of them."
• Chris K. tells everyone about an Honors seminar to be offered next semester, called "Science Fiction as Social Science." Interested persons should sign up for it.
• The Comm Officer inquires as to why Psi Phi was listed on a political flyer for Stephanie Block's campaign for all-school president. Were we endorsing her, or was she endorsing us, or what?
• It is decided that she probably just listed every group on campus to fill up space and to appeal to as many interest groups as possible. The Medieval College Society was likewise included.
• It is suggested that the slogan "VOTE FOR THE SHOE" be chalked all over campus.
• The Comm Officer also has a flyer to show everyone from the Bradley Paintball club, whose slogan includes the tagline "The ability to shoot people without prosecution!"
• The motion is made to attack the French club. For those who want to know why, Adam and Marisa simultaneously reply, "Because they'd surrender!" The synchronicity of their statement is spooky.
• Ray adds, "Because they'd throw cows at us," which makes a lot more sense.
• John Ritter was the next big star to appear on Late Night with Conan O'Brien for "Ritter: Secrets". Some paraphrased secrets:
  • "There's a rumor going around that in episode 161 of Three's Company, if you freeze-frame one scene, you can see my scrotum hanging out of my blue boxer shorts. People ask me if I did that on purpose. (takes a long drink) You bet I did!"
  • "CHiPs used to film on the sound stage next to ours. One day I was out back, and I saw Erik Estrada kissing Don Knotts. Two days later Don came in to work crying. He told everyone his dog was sick, but I knew the truth; that he'd broken up with Erik.
  • "One day an extra kept blowing his lines. He just couldn't get them. Norman Feld came out - he wasn't even in that episode. He killed the guy with a hammer."
• Adam may have relevant news: The Companion's Video Game from the Xanth series is now available. It's based off the Companion's Game book.

Adjournment: 10:49 (penguin)*3(jolly Fraggle Rock)(evil porn)pm