[Channel Open]
[Incoming Transmission from Psi Phi, Office of Communications]

Minutes

(04/11/2001)

Call To Order: 10:04 (pond)pm

There were 14 attendees.

Notes:

Amy and David exchange Red Dwarf tapes.
Charlie comes in, by himself, at 10:13. This upsets a trend we've had for a few weeks in a row, consisting of two people coming late to the meeting together.
Once again, it is noted that David is a bap-free zone.
An official notation about "the goofy constitution" is hereby recorded in the minutes.

Campaign for the Shoe Committee:

Following the extensive campaigning efforts of the committee, including a large-scale sidewalk-chalking of the campus the night before a massive downpour, the results for the shoe were as follows: at least 11 votes for president, a good number for vice president, and in its strongest showing, at least a massive 43 votes for secretary!
The Constable reports that the Comm Officer came up with several witty puns to use as slogans for the shoe. The Captain is in great need of the bapper.
Amy deems it a fairly effective, if not amusing campaign.
The committee is officially disbanded until another event comes up which could make use of it. And so the first chapter in Psi Phi's glorious history as a pseudo-PAC comes to a close.

Recruitment and Relations Committee:

No Report Committee:

Adam's report expounds on two philosophies, Buddhism and one of his own invention.
Buddhism, according to Adam, views the self as an illusion; the goal in life is to rid oneself of this illusion. Adam finds this concept cowardly.
Charlie thanks Adam for insulting his beliefs. As a reminder, public beatings of Adam take place every hour on the hour.
Adam's philosophy conceives of the self as a part of the universe. Self is, therefore, still an illusion, but it should be celebrated as a link to the cosmos.
No report. Applause occurs. Adam believes he has the power; those who have power know better, but remain silent, not wishing to disappoint him.

Communications Officer:

The minutes for last week are done, but minor corrections discovered during tonight's reading must be corrected before they can be posted.
The Captain remarks, "Ah, who cares?"
It is suggested that the Comm Officer attempt to put next week's minutes up before the meeting takes place. There is mild speculation on whether the universe would collapse if they turned out to be wrong, and how weird it would be if they turned out to be right.

Constable:

"'I couldn't help it. It just popped in there!' 'What? What just popped in there?' 'I - I tried to think - ' 'Look!' 'No! It can't be!' 'What is it?' 'It can't be!' 'What did you do, Ray?' 'It's the Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man.'" --Ghostbusters
Everything's under control.

Grand Nagus:

The current balance is $387.88, ą (choose one element of the following set) {virtual particles, 2 slips of latinum, inflation, a positive or negative amount}.

Chief of Operations:

We are getting $130 from amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, and amazon.de, for last quarter. Woo-hoo!

First Officer:

Tonight's Douglas Adams Quote of the Week (hereby abbreviated as 'DA QotW') is from "The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul":
"The gods are walking the earth. The gods are walking the earth. The gods are walking the earth. Thank you."
Julie seems to have discovered "war games." [Does this mean we're finally attacking the French club?]

Captain:

Amy begins the Captain's report with a "Yeeeipong!"
The Captain has acquired a book, "Scorpion: Evil Clan." He offers a quote: "Two men stand on opposite sides of a river. One has flint; the other has kindling. Each refuses to cross. So are we all."
Mail time. Ray does the "Letters" thing. It is noted we lack a sack (for the letters).
Mail:
- Stuff for B.E.E.R. and driving. Sounds like the perfect combination...
- An application for Organization Advisor of the Year. Laughs all around.
- Amy and the Nagus are apparently caught in an ice cream war of attrition. Adam desires ice cream, but is told the shops are closed. His response: "Damn you."
- A flyer for Expo 2001. Chris K. remarks, "Ah - the science fair."
- Propaganda for a 5 km run/1 mile walk by Delta Tau Delta.

It is proposed that the shoe should next become a candidate for President of the United States. Hopes are dashed when Aaron points out, "It'll have to be 35 years old and made in America."
Various scary musings are made regarding other possible candidates for running (in place). Adam's pick: a nanotech immortal parrot.

Voyager officially wrapped filming on Monday.
The Voyager finale novelization is due out in June, about one month after the show is aired.
Chris J. arrives with literally seconds left at 10:44.
The first material regarding a Voyager relaunch is being uncovered.
The new supernatural-thriller-hospital show "All Souls" premieres on UPN next Tuesday at 8.